Uncharted Territory
by Skye Coulson
Summary: Spock is raped and learns something that will change his life forever - along with those of his crewmates and friends. SPIRK SLASH. MPREG.
1. Safe and Sound

**Uncharted Territory**

* * *

 **Disclaimer:  
** As per usual, I own nothing (except Diomedes Quade). If I did, Spock would quit wasting time with Uhura and Kirk would stop chasing everything in a damn skirt. Lol

 **Rating:  
** M (for rape)

 **Genre:  
** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

 **Pairing:  
** Spirk (Jim Kirk/Spock)

 **Lyrics Used:  
** Savvy & Mandy - "Safe and Sound" (originally performed by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars)

* * *

Safe and Sound

* * *

 _I remember tears streaming down your face | When I said I'd never let you go | All those shadows almost killed your light | I remember you said don't leave me here, alone | But, all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

 _Just close your eyes | The sun is goin' down | You'll be all right | No one can hurt you, now | Come morning light | You and I'll be safe and sound_

* * *

Pain. That was the only sensation that registered in his body. His mind, however, was another story, entirely. Fear. Confusion. Anger. These emotions were all running rampant – among countless others – as he fought, in vain, against his attacker. The jet black hair. The hazel eyes. The sultry voice. The rough hands, violently shoving his legs open. The too-large penis violently violating his too-small, too-tight, unprepared opening. All these sensations would be engraved on his eidetic memory, forevermore. Everything had happened so fast, he doubted a normal human mind could have even registered all of it – never mind recall it. But, his would. Never did he ever think of his greatest strengths would ever be his greatest weakness. Yet, here it was. A chain of events was burned into his mind. The _whoosh_ of the doors to his chambers opening. The swift footsteps quickly closing the distance between them as he turned to face his visitor. The sting of a hypospray in his neck. The collapse of his body falling limp onto his bed. He was paralyzed. Completely unable to move or fight back. Powerless. It was a feeling he was unaccustomed to and one he never wished to experience again. But, yet, there was something wrong. He knew he was paralyzed as he was unable to move even his neck. But, yet, he could still _feel_. Could still feel every slap. Every rough grip – sure to leave a bruises. The intrusion of the tongue that invaded his mouth. The tearing, burning pain that seared through his genital region as another penis violated his most sacred opening. He felt all of it. And, he very strongly doubted he could ever _un_ feel it.

"I've seen the way you look at the Captain." The rough voice hissed into his ear. "It's perverse." His attacker hissed, again, thrusting harder, deeper within him. "It's disgusting." Then, he felt teeth sinking into his neck. "You make me sick." That was accompanied by a searing look as hazel bore into caramel as his attacker spit in his face.

* * *

Screaming. Captain James T. Kirk was suddenly jerked awake as he registered the sound of someone screaming. His chest immediately clenched, painfully, as he recognized that he'd know that scream anywhere. It was a scream he was hearing all too frequently since that fateful night he'd rescued his first officer a few weeks prior. Spock's screams cut him to the quick as he jumped out of bed to comfort the Vulcan where he slept in the next quarters.

Crew members were gathering outside of Commander Spock's quarters – looks of concern written across the countenances. "I got it." Kirk offered by way of comfort as he prepared to enter Spock's quarters.

"Jim, maybe I should-" Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy offered, only to be silenced, mid-sentence.

"I said, I got it, Bones." Jim snapped before realizing himself. "I'm sorry, Bones." He added, face and voice softening.

"It's all right." McCoy offered, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Just take care of him."

"I will." Kirk offered with a small smile before entering the first officer's quarters.

* * *

 _Don't you dare look out your window | Darling, everything's on fire_

* * *

"No one's coming for you." His tormentor hissed. "No one cares."

Unable to fight back, he did the only thing he could do. He screamed. He screamed as though his life depended on it. For, as far as he knew, it did.

* * *

 _The war outside our door keeps raging on | Hold onto this lullaby | Even when the music's gone_

* * *

"Spock!" Jim called out, fighting against the emotion strangling his heart within his chest. "Spock, wake up! Spock-!"

Jim was silence, mid-sentence, as Spock suddenly bolt upright in his bed – chest heaving with lingering fear as the remnants of his nightmare slowly faded from his mind as reality cleared a path. "What just happened?" The Vulcan inquired, eyes wildly searching the room before finally settling on the Captain.

"You were having another nightmare." Jim explained, instinctively wrapping the trembling Vulcan into a comforting embrace.

"They seem to be occurring with increasing frequency." Spock observed.

"They'll pass, Spock." The Captain offered, reassuringly. "In time. You can't just get over something like what happened to you overnight, Spock." He elaborated. "You've got to give yourself some time to–"

Jim was cut off before he could complete the thought as the Vulcan leapt out of the bed and rushed to his adjoining bathroom. He could hear the unmistakable sound of retching coming from inside the bathroom. This had been happening more and more frequently over the last week or two – since the night the rape had occurred. Approaching the doors to the quarters, the Captain waited for the doors to slide open before peaking his head out and reaching for his chief medical officer. "Hey, Bones."

"Yeah, Jim?" Dr. Leonard McCoy asked, turning to face his Captain.

"Get in here." Jim replied, cryptically.

Following the cryptic order, Bones stepped inside the first officer's quarters. "What's goin' on, Jim?" He asked, curiously. "You're actin' weirder than a two-horned unicorn."

"It's Spock." Jim replied, concern evident as he stared at the bathroom door, awaiting the Vulcan's return. "I think you should have a look at him. He's been getting sick a lot, lately." He elaborated.

"Sure." Bones replied, turning back toward the door. "I'll just go get my bag." He offered before making a swift exit.

As the medical officer took his leave, Jim returned to sitting on the bed to wait for Spock to exit the bathroom. The wait seemed to last for hours, though, it was likely only minutes. Before he knew it, the doors to the quarters _whooshed_ open, again, as Bones returned with his equipment.

"You suspect anything specific?" The medical officer asked, curiously, as he prepared a needle to draw a sample of the Vulcan's blood.

"I don't know." Jim admitted, sighing lightly, running a hand through his hair, worriedly. "I just know somethin's not right with him, Bones."

"Don't worry, Jim." The doctor replied, resting his hand on the Captain's shoulder. "I'll get to the bottom of it."

"Thanks, Bones." Jim replied, gratefully. Just then, the door the bathroom opened as the Vulcan returned to his quarters. "You feelin' all right?" Jim asked, diverting his attention to the Vulcan.

"I am feeling rather nauseated and fatigued." Spock conceded, taking a seat next to the Captain on his bed. In the weeks since the night he was attacked, his friendship with the Captain had grown closer. Jim had not only rescued him from Lieutenant Diomedes Quade, but, he had also been helping the Vulcan to deal with the emotions that had been running wild through him ever since. Spock had grown confused by these emotions. As a Vulcan he had always prided himself on his ability to suppress and control his emotions. But, lately, his emotions had been getting the better of him more and more frequently. Jim had been helping to calm those emotions. Spock was grateful to him for that.

"Give me your arm." Bones interjected. Upon receiving a questioning glare from the Vulcan, the doctor explained himself. "I wanna take a sample of your blood and run some tests." He offered. "I wanna examine you and figure out what's bothering you so I can help you."

Spock's eyes moved back and forth between Jim and Dr. McCoy as if asking an unspoken question. "Go ahead, Spock" Jim encouraged, gently.

"Jim's worried about you." Bones offered, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. "We all are."

"Very well, Doctor." Spock finally conceded, pulling his sleeve up to expose the vein for the doctor to draw the necessary blood sample.

Upon drawing the requisite blood sample, the doctor proceeded to conduct a thorough physical examination – examining everything from top to bottom. After he was finished, he turned to the Vulcan. "All right, Spock. I can't seem to find anything in your physical exam." He began, before packing up the blood sample. "Hopefully, this-" He added, holding up the tube containing the Vulcan's blood. "-will give us some answers." He concluded. "In the meantime, just … try to get some rest." The doctor offered, lamely, as he turned to take his leave.

With the doctor gone, Spock turned to Jim. "May I confide something in you, Jim?"

Taken aback by the uncharacteristic question from the Vulcan, Jim could only reply "Of course, Spock. You can tell me anything."

Nodding, the Vulcan seemed to accept this response as he drew a deep breath before continuing "Very well … These nightmare … They are becoming most distressing." The Vulcan began. "I am concerned they may cause me to become … emotionally compromised."

"I won't let that happen." Jim offered, firmly. "Spock, you know I'm here for you – whatever you need. Just say the word and I'll do it."

"What I 'need' cannot be done, Jim." The Vulcan offered, simply. "I need for the attack which is causing all of these nightmares to have never happened. You cannot change the past."

"You did." Jim challenged, hoping to take Spock's mind off the matter. "Or … you will?" He added, uncertain of the proper grammar.

"That is not the same thing and you know it, Jim." Spock snapped, decidedly more irritably than intended.

"I'm sorry." Jim offered, sincerely.

"No, I am the one who should apologize." Spock corrected. "I did not intend to snap the way that I did."

"It's okay." Jim offered, warmly. "Believe me, if anyone has a right to snap, it would have to be you, right now."

"How do you mean?" The Vulcan questioned, confused by the Captain's response.

"I mean that … after everything you've been through … It's understandable that you'd be feeling the way that you are." Jim elaborated. "I get it. I'm still here for you, no matter what."

"Thank you, Jim." The Vulcan replied, sincere gratitude woven into his every word. "I truthfully do not know how I would get through this without a friend like you."

"I know you, Spock." Jim offered. "You're a fighter. I suspect you'd get through this just fine with or without me." Pausing, he then went on to add "Besides … You've got an entire ship full of people that care about you." The Captain paused once more as he realized what he'd said. "Okay, maybe with one exception. … But, the point is … Even if I wasn't here, there's plenty of others that would happily take my place and help you through this." Looking straight into the Vulcan's piercing eyes, Jim added "You were never gonna go through this, alone, Spock."

"I am simply grateful that I will never have to find out." Spock replied, before lying down to settle back into his bed in an attempt to follow the doctor's orders and 'try to get some rest'. Taking this change in position as his cue to leave, Jim began to rise from the bed before Spock's voice stopped him. "Where are you going?" The voice was so uncharacteristically small and timid that Jim never would have believed it came from the Vulcan had he not heard and seen it for himself.

Confused, he replied "Well, I thought you were wanting to go back to sleep, so, I was gonna head back to my quarters and give you some privacy." Observing the Vulcan's strange behavior, he added "But, as I say that, I sense that my assumption may have been wrong?"

Turning to face the Captain, Spock struggled with the decision of whether to ask his question or not. Finally, his human half won out. "Would you please stay?"

"Of course." Jim breathed, taken aback by the request. Sitting back down on the bed, he settled himself into the sheets next to the Vulcan.

Turning himself over, Spock sought comfort in Jim's arms as he nestled his head onto the Captain's chest. He could not explain why the embrace was so comforting. It simply was. And, he could not deny that it was precisely what he needed, in that moment.

The uncharacteristic display only served to heighten the Captain's concern for his closest friend. Not to mention the man that had unknowingly stolen his heart. Tightening his embrace ever so gently, he knew that sleep would elude him until he helped the Vulcan back to a semblance of normal. He knew that the man's life would never truly be the same. But, little did he know just how much it would change. How much all of their lives were about to change.

* * *

After running the blood tests multiple times, Doctor Leonard McCoy still struggled to wrap his mind around what he was seeing. _That's impossible._ He thought to himself, as he continued to stare in disbelief. _There's just no way._ He reasoned within himself. What he saw had to be to wrong. It had to be a mistake. There was just no way for him to get those results. As Spock, himself, would say, it was just simply _illogical_. It didn't make any sense, but, it didn't matter how many times he blinked … how many times he shook his head in disbelief … how long he stared at the data … The fact still remained. Commander Spock was pregnant. "I'll be Goddamned." The doctor muttered, under his breath, before struggling to figure out just how to break the news to his patient.

* * *

 **Author's Note:  
** This was my first attempt at Spirk and _Star Trek_ in general. So, please, be kind. I realize that Spock is out of character, here, and that is by design. While he remains unaware of it, he is pregnant and hormones change a person's behavior. And, don't forget, he _was_ raped. That, too, has effects on a person's behavior.

Also, I will explain my idea as to how Spock got pregnant, in the first place in the next chapter. In the meantime, I hope you will drop a review and add this story to your alert list. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it.

~Skye Coulson


	2. Forever Changed

**Uncharted Territory**

* * *

 **Disclaimer:  
** You know the drill. I own nothing outside of Lieutenant Diomedes Quade and Lieutenant Jolene Callahan.

 **Rating:  
** M

 **Genre:  
** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

 **Pairing:  
** Spirk

 **Lyrics Used:  
** Carrie Underwood - "Forever Changed" (With very minor creative license with the lyrics)

* * *

Forever Changed

* * *

 _He remembers the change in his body | The bloomin' within | And, how his heart seemed to flutter with the wind | Then, one night, as the days grew longer | That Indian Summer | He brought love into the world | Cried and held me, then_

 _Forever changed | Forever changed | Nothing ever stays the same | Forever named | Forever child | Forever loved | Forever changed_

* * *

"Spock!" Doctor Leonard McCoy greeted the Vulcan as he entered the medbay. "What brings ya to my neck of the woods?" The doctor asked, feigning surprise. Truthfully, he'd been dreading this moment since he'd reviewed the results of the Vulcan's blood work. _How the hell do I tell him?!_ Bones frantically racked his brain for the words to use to tell the Vulcan that he was carrying his rapist's baby.

"I was informed that the results of the blood tests were in." Spock calmly replied to the doctor's question. "I came here in hopes of finding out what you have learned."

"Right." Bones began, still frantically searching for the words. "The results … of the blood tests."

"Doctor, your nervous hesitation suggests a reluctance to tell me what I wish to know." Spock noted, observing the doctor's odd behavior.

Sighing lightly, Bones gave up trying to figure out how to break the news and opted to go for the rip-the-band-aid-off approach. "Spock, you might wanna sit down for this."

"Whatever you have to tell me, Doctor, I assure you…" Spock began, attempting to suppress his rising anxiety. "…I can handle it standing erect."

"Right." Bones drawled, eying the Vulcan. "Jolene, can you come in here, a minute?" Spock turned as a young woman – approximately five foot, ten inches tall – with light brown hair, accented with warm golden highlights, a bronzed skin tone and deep chocolate doe eyes entered the medbay.

"Lieutenant Callahan?" The Vulcan questioned, curiously. "What are you doing here?"

"Doctor McCoy noted something in your test results that he wanted me to confirm." Lieutenant Callahan replied, simply.

"Jolene is my most invaluable medical assistant." Bones offered, by way of explanation. "She's also worked for an OB/GYN friend of mine who specializes in Vulcan-Human patients."

"Are you saying what I believe you are saying?" Spock questioned, attempting disguise his growing shock. He could feel his heart rate rising as his respiration rate increased. _It is not possible. It is simply illogical._ He argued with himself.

"Spock." Jolene interjected, her voice warm and gentle. "I understand that this is going to come as a shock to you … But, your blood work showed elevated levels of human chorionic gonadotropin. More commonly known as hCG." She elaborated. "You're pregnant." Spock stood in stunned silence as he took in what he'd just been told. There had to be a mistake. It wasn't physically possible. It couldn't be. Could it?

Sensing the Vulcan's struggle to remedy what she had just told him with what he knew of his own physiology. "I can sense your confusion." She offered, gently. "Doctor McCoy asked for my help with this because I can explain to you how this is – in fact – possible. You see, Commander Spock, you were born to a Vulcan father and Human mother. My former employer discovered that there were extremely rare instances of male children born to a Vulcan father and Human mother inheriting _both_ male _and_ female reproductive systems."

"And, you are saying that … I … am one of those instances." Spock inferred, listening to the Lieutenant's explanation and still struggling to reconcile it with his own knowledge of anatomy. His heart and respiration rates both continued to rise as he began to feel lightheaded.

"That's precisely what … I … am …" Jolene drawled before recognizing what was happening to the Vulcan. Pausing mid-sentence, she instantly positioned herself behind him as his body began to collapse. "Get Jim in here." She told the doctor as she transitioned the unconscious Vulcan in her arms to a bed.

"What the hell happened?!" Captain James Tiberius Kirk demanded upon noticing Spock lying on a medbay bed, returning to consciousness. "Spock, are you all right?!" He added, voice softening notably as he arrived at the Vulcan's bedside, helping him to sit up.

"I am uncertain of how to answer that question." Spock replied, still in shock from his previous news.

"What's he talkin' about, Bones?" Jim demanded, his voice laced with concern. "Lieutenant Callahan? … What's going on?"

"Doctor McCoy asked me to look over Commander Spock's blood work." Jolene replied, her voice cool and professional. "He noticed an anomaly and wanted my input on the matter before he spoke with Commander Spock about it."

"Damn it, Lieutenant!" Jim snapped. "Just answer the question! What the hell's going on here?!" He demanded, instinctively wrapping his arms around the Commander's shoulders upon noting his almost invisible trembling.

"Doctor McCoy noted elevated levels of the hormone known as human chorionic gonadotropin in Commander Spock's blood sample." The Lieutenant explained calmly. "It's more commonly known as hCG-"

"Bones, just answer me!" Jim barked, desperately, turning to the ship's chief medical officer. "What the hell is she talking about?! What is she trying _not_ to tell me?!" He added, throwing a sideways glare at the Lieutenant.

"It means, Jim…" Spock interjected, finally gaining the clarity of mind to speak for himself. "…That I am with child." He added, his voice still distant and far away as he contemplated what this meant for himself and his future.

Dumbfounded, Jim could only stare at Spock in awe for a moment, before shifting his stare to the medical officers before them. "I … What … Did he …" The Captain stuttered before finally gathering his thoughts. "Did he just say what I think he just said?!"

"I'm afraid so, Jim." Bones conceded, gently. "Spock is … Pregnant."

After a moment of stunned silence, Jim asked "How the hell is that even _possible_?!"

"That's where I come in." Jolene interjected, stepping closer to the Captain. "Before working for Doctor McCoy as his medical assistant, I worked for an OB/GYN friend of his who specializes in Vulcan-Human pregnancies." She began. "There are exceedingly rare instances where male children born to Vulcan fathers and Human mothers can inherit both male _and_ female reproductive systems – and, vice-verse."

"I needed her to explain to me just how the hell this was all possible." Bones admitted. "And to reassure me that I was not – in fact – losing my mind."

"But, there is one other thing that I need to prepare you for." Jolene interjected, focusing her attention directly on Spock.

"There's something else?" Jim snapped, still in shock from the news.

"Your pregnancy will accelerate." Jolene continued, calmly ignoring the Captain's outburst.

"Accelerate?!" Jim and Bones both interjected simultaneously.

"Just why the hell didn't you think to mention that, before?!" The doctor snapped.

Turning to the doctor for a moment, Jolene fixed him with a dangerously calm glare. "Because this is the part that I wished to discuss directly with the patient, himself, as it most directly affects him. Not to mention the fact that I knew you would be here when I discussed it with him." She elaborated with a deathly calm to her voice that even gave the Captain chills. "I'm not really a fan of repeating myself." Finally returning her attention to Spock, her voice notably softening. "As I said, your pregnancy will accelerate."

* * *

 **Author's Note:  
** Sorry for the cliff hanger. Blame my beta. Lol. I promise to get the next chapter up just as soon as I possibly can. But, between balancing bankruptcy, repossession, and maintaining the house while taking care of a teething 5-month-old, I don't get as much time to write as I want.

~Skye Coulson


	3. The Fight That We've Been Waiting For

**Uncharted Territory**

* * *

 **Disclaimer:  
** You know the drill.

 **Rating:  
** M

 **Genre:  
** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

 **Pairing:  
** Spirk

 **Lyrics Used:  
** Carrie Underwood - "Forever Changed"  
Nickelback - "The Hammer's Coming Down"

* * *

This Is the Fight That We've Been Waiting For

* * *

 _Forever changed | Forever changed | Nothing ever stays the same | Forever named | Forever child | Forever loved | Forever changed_

* * *

"By how much?!" Kirk and Bones demanded, in unison, once more.

"Okay, y'all _seriously_ need to stop doing that." Jolene replied, mildly annoyed by the simultaneous interruptions. Redirecting her focus back to the Vulcan in front of her, the medical assistant softened her voice as she spoke, again. "A typical pure Vulcan pregnancy is half as long as a full human pregnancy – twenty weeks of gestation versus forty." She began, trying to be as gentle with her explanation as possible as she could see that the Vulcan was still visibly shaken by the life-changing news he was receiving. "Now, as you're half human, the combination of genes in your DNA will slow the acceleration by half."

"You planing on speaking English anytime soon?" Kirk asked, anxious to get to the point.

"The combination of genes means that my pregnancy will only accelerate by twenty-five percent." Spock interjected, in the same distant tone.

"Correct, Commander." Jolene offered, gently. "The gestation will be about thirty weeks. The first thing we're gonna need … to … do–" She began, before the Vulcan took a sudden leave as he rushed for the medbay restrooms. "Let him go." She offered, gently, as Kirk made to follow the Vulcan. "It's not gonna be an easy time for him … Trying to process all this …"

"Which is exactly why I need to be in there with him." Kirk argued, desperately. "Supporting him."

"Actually, Jim…" Bones interjected. "I think the best way for you to do just that is by staying here and talking to Jolene and me."

Sighing lightly, Jim knew the doctor was right. "You're right." He conceded, reluctantly. "What are we gonna do about this?" he asked, lamely. "How can we help Spock? … And … the baby?"

"Well, I think the first step would be to get Spock in here for an ultrasound." Bones offered.

"A dating scan, to be more precise." Jolene added.

"It'll tell us exactly how far along Spock is." Bones added.

"Help us calculate Spock's EDD." Jolene offered.

"'EDD'?" Kirk questioned, curiously.

"Estimated Date of Delivery." Jolene clarified, her voice always remaining cool and clinical.

"His … due date." Bones elaborated, carefully.

"Right." Kirk drawled, still attempting process everything he was hearing.

"Also…" Jolene interjected. "A preliminary ultrasound will help us to assess whether or not Commander Spock has any uterine abnormalities or–"

"'Uterine abnormalities'?" Kirk questioned.

"For instance, we need to see if the Commander has an oddly shaped uterus – or, possibly, a tilted uterus, etcetera." Jolene offered, mildly annoying Kirk with her clinical voice and attitude. How could she be talking about this like it was nothing.

"What does all this mean?" Kirk asked, hating how helpless he felt. And, feeling his blood boil with all the thoughts of all the things he desperately wanted to do to Quade. "What can _I_ do? … What can I do to help him?"

"Just be there." Bones offered, warmly. "He's gonna need all the support he can get. But, don't push anything. Let him come to you."

"This is gonna play hell with his mind and emotions." Jolene offered, her voice finally laced with a level of concern that satisfied Kirk. "Rape victims who end up pregnant with their rapists' babies can worry about their capacity to love their children."

"You seem to have a lot of experience in the matter?" Bones questioned, his concern shifting from the Vulcan to his medical assistant.

"I've seen more of these cases than I really care to." Jolene admitted, shuddering at the memories of some of the cases that she had dealt with. Turning her attention to the Captain, she continued on. "When he comes to you with these concerns – and, he _will_ … Just be there. Reassure him. Make sure he knows he's not alone in this. That you have his six."

"I think I can do that." Kirk nodded, bracing himself for whatever Spock might end up going through. Just then, the Vulcan returned to the medbay.

"Where do we proceed from here?" The Vulcan questioned. Though his cool Vulcan exterior was steeled into place, Jim knew better. He could see the storm behind his deep brown eyes. The Captain wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold his fist officer and reassure the Commander that everything would be all right. But, the only thing stopping him – apart from the knowledge that Spock wouldn't want that – was his uncertainty. How _could_ he know that everything would be all right?

"Well, as Jolene and I were just informing the Captain, our first move would be to perform a dating ultrasound scan to determine exactly how far along you are and to calculate your EDD – your due date." Bones offered, watching the Vulcan's reactions.

"I can tell you precisely when conception occurred." Spock snapped. Outside observers would never have thought Spock's reaction was anything less than his characteristic calm and cool collection. But, both Jim and Bones knew better.

"There's more to this first ultrasound." Jolene offered, warmly. "This first scan will allow us to examine you for any signs of uterine abnormalities, as well as alert us to any potential red flags for your pregnancy – any warning signs of-"

"I am perfectly familiar with the meaning of the phrase 'red flag'." Spock interjected again, his trained facade failing.

"She's just trying to help, Spock." Bones offered, moving to stand in front of Jolene. From the moment she'd been assigned as his MA, Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy had always felt a sense of protection toward her. Among a few other senses that the chief medical officer would never admit aloud even under the worst of torture.

"I am aware of that." Spock conceded. "I apologize." He added, directing his attention to Jolene. "Thank you, Lieutenant." Shifting his focus back to the doctor, he added "Shall we begin?"

Bones eyed the Vulcan carefully a moment longer before reminding himself of all that the Commander had been through and deciding to let the matter slide. "Get the ultrasound machine, Jo." He responded, turning to his assistant before refocusing on the Commander. "Lay down on the bed. Shirt up, pants and underwear down. Off would be better." He ordered before turning to take his leave. "Jolene will be with you in a minute."

"You're not gonna do the ultrasound, yourself?" Jim asked, voice laden with concern.

"That's why doctors have assistants, Jim." Bones offered, as if it were plain as day. Taking in the looks on his friends' faces, he sighed, reluctantly. "Aw, hell." He declared, turning back around before donning his lab coat. "I'll give you a minute to get ready and, here–" He added, reaching into a nearby cabinet before handing Spock a paper sheet. "Put this over your lap." He added.

"You okay?" Jim asked, voice softened with concern, as he rest a comforting hand on the Vulcan's shoulder.

"I am … uncertain … of how to feel about this turn of events." Spock admitted, hating the feeling of vulnerability the admission brought about with it.

"It's okay to be scared, Spock." Jim offered, carefully. "No one would ever think any less of you for it." He added, as the Vulcan stripped down from the waist down before slipping back onto the medbay before lifting his shirt to expose his abdomen. "God knows you've been through hell and back only to have your entire world flipped upside down and inside out." He added, trailing off, watching his friend and the unwitting owner of his heart ghosting his hands over his abdomen where his unborn child rest. The look of utter fascination and awe on the Vulcan's face threatened to take his breath away. Rather than interrupting the Commander's moment, Jim just quietly picked up the paper sheet which Bones had provided him with and laid it over his first officer's exposed lap – trying with everything he had to steadfastly ignore Spock's genital region.

"Are we all ready?" Jolene greeted, brightly, returning with the ultrasound machine, a confused expression gracing her countenance. "Did I miss something?" She asked, turning to the chief medical officer. "I thought you wanted me to do the ultrasound?"

"We asked Bones to stay for this." Jim offered, gently, by way of explanation.

"Of course." Jolene smiled gently. "If you want, I can step out and let doctor McCoy perform the ultrasound." She added, warmly. "Give you guys some privacy?"

"While I appreciate the sentiment behind the offer…" Spock began, speaking up for himself. "…I believe I would feel more comfortable if you performed the ultrasound, yourself, Lieutenant."

"Oh, come on, Commander." The medical assistant offered, lightly, bracing herself for the first officer's reaction when he found out how the dating scan was to be performed. "You can call me Jolene. After all … we are about to get _very_ up close and personal." She added.

"Just what the hell's that supposed to mean?!" Jim demanded, his protectiveness toward the Vulcan flaring up as he instinctively wrapped an arm around his first officer's shoulder.

Bracing herself, the medical assistant began to explain the procedure she was to perform. "The dating scan is a _transvaginal_ ultrasound. This allows us to see things that might otherwise be missed in a traditional ultrasound." She began as she started calibrating the machine with the Vulcan's information. "In order to perform this ultrasound, the probe must be inserted through the opening of Spock's vagina." She finished, before lubricating the end of probe.

"You're going to insert that thing _where_?" Jim demanded, his anger flaring.

"It's the best way to do the scan." Bones added, to the defense of his assistant. "All of the subsequent scans will be standard and far less invasive." He added, hoping to offer his patient some semblance of comfort.

"Jolene is merely doing her job, Jim." Spock interjected. "I trust her." He added, looking up at the Captain.

"Thank you, Commander." Jolene smiled, gently.

"You may call me Spock, Jolene." The Commander smiled, gently. "After all, we are going to be getting … if I may borrow a parlance with which you are familiar … _very_ up close and personal."

The medical assistant chuckled, lightly, despite herself, earning a small, tentative smile from the Vulcan. "Too right, you are, Spock." With the probe prepped and ready to go, she added "Okay, Spock. This is going to be slick and wet and you're going to feel some slight discomfort as the probe enters your vaginal opening and as I manipulate it around."

"How _slight_?" Jim asked, still on edge.

"To be perfectly honest, Captain…" Jolene replied, her voice and clinical. "…that all depends on Spock's pain tolerance."

"Just go ahead, Jo." Bones coaxed.

"All right … Here we go." The medical assistant replied, positioning herself between the Vulcan's legs and inserting the probe into the Vulcan's vaginal opening. "Sorry." She apologized, sympathetically, as she noted the Vulcan's wince of discomfort.

"It is quite all right, Jolene." Spock replied, hoping to alleviate the medical assistant's guilt. "Please … continue."

"Of course, Spock." Jolene replied, smiling tentatively, as she continued to manipulate the probe.

"There." Bones announced, spotting the fetus on the screen before him. "That, Spock … is your baby."

Jolene considered making a comment on the find, but, thought better of – opting, instead to focus on her task at hand. Meanwhile, the Commander could only stare in awe at the sight of his unborn child on the monitor.

"That's it?" Jim questioned, curiously, struggling to make out what, exactly, he was looking at.

"Yep." Bones confirmed, pointing to the small fetus on the screen – drawing an imaginary circle around it with his finger. "What do you make of it, Jo?" He asked, directing his attention to his medical assistant. "You're the expert, here." After receiving questioning glares from the Captain and the Vulcan next to him, the doctor opted to amend his statement. "Metaphorically speaking."

Looking up from her position between her patient's legs, Jolene fixed her stare to the screen positioned on the wall behind the Commander's head. "Well … From the looks of things, I'd say you are … three weeks and two days along, Spock." She observed as Bones rolled the monitor closer to her for her to make a few adjustments. "Heart rate looks good – hundred and forty-five beats per minute …" She added, manipulating the probed, further to get a better look at the full picture.

"There's the placenta, there." Bones interjected, pointing toward the aforementioned item.

"The what?" Jim questioned, curiously.

"It provides the baby with nutrients and other elements necessary to survival." Jolene offered. "In addition to providing the baby with oxygen and nutrients for survival, the placenta also removes waste that the baby produces. From what I can see, here, you appear to have a textbook uterus, Spock." She added, smiling up at the Vulcan.

"Everything looks good, so far." Bones confirmed.

"From here, I'd recommend scheduling weekly follow-up visits with another ultrasound at fifteen weeks." Jolene suggested, removing the probe to the patient's relief. "Here." She offered, passing the Vulcan a warm, wet, cloth. "To clean yourself."

"Thank you." Spock replied, quietly, accepting the proffered cloth.

"We'll give you a moment to get re-dressed." The medical assistant spoke, again, as she pulled her gloves off and printed out photos from the scan before shutting down the machine. "Sorry…" She offered, lamely, holding up the printouts before realizing her assumption. "Force of habit…" She added. "You don't have to take 'em if you don't want 'em."

"I will take them." The Vulcan replied, gently, in an attempt to alleviate the medical assistant's guilt, as he accepted the proffered printouts. "Thank you, Jolene." He added with a small, tentative, smile.

* * *

 _This is the calm before the comin' storm | This is the ripped-sky mornin' | Without warning, now | This is the fight that we've been waiting for | And, there's no sense in running | The hammer's coming down | Down | The hammer's coming down | Down | The hammer's coming down_

* * *

"Just where the hell do you think you're going with those?" Leonard McCoy demanded, catching up to Jim Kirk as the Captain stormed down to the brig with one of the printouts from Spock's ultrasound in his hand.

"Getting answers, Bones." Kirk hissed, venomously, training his eyes steadfastly straight ahead.

"Damn it, man!" Bones hissed, knowing where Kirk was going with this train of thought. "We've already got _your_ eyewitness account from rescuing Spock – _and_ , if **that's** not good enough for you … We've also got Quade's DNA in Spock's rape kit!" He reminded the Captain, curtly. "Once we get the bastard back to headquarters for his trial, he's finished!"

"That's not enough!" Kirk roared, his anger boiling over the surface, as he stopped – dead in his tracks – and whipped his head around to look at Bones. "I need his ass to _fry_ …" He added, his voice suddenly deathly quiet. "And, for that … I need him to start talking." Drawing a steadying breath, he continued on. "This bastard _broke_ Spock, Bones…" He added, his voice tired and desperate. "…Violated him in unspeakable ways. … I want that jury to see him for worthless piece of shit that he really is."

Sighing heavily, Bones crossed his hands over his chest as he spoke. "Well, you're sure as hell not going down there, alone. … Not only do I not need you providing me with patients that I really don't care to treat … But, _**Spock**_ doesn't need you screwin' the pooch and getting' his case thrown out 'cause you went batshit and beat the living hell outta his rapist in the name of interrogation!"

Releasing a breath didn't know he'd been holding Kirk replied "Come on."

* * *

"You have an interesting taste in photography, Captain Kirk." Lieutenant Diomedes Quade taunted as Kirk slammed the ultrasound printout against the clear glass wall of his cell in the ship's brig.

"That's your **baby**!" Kirk hissed, enjoying the shocked look taking over Quade's face.

"That's not possible." Quade breathed, in a state of shock.

"I don't care about the mechanics of how it's _possible_." Kirk hissed, venom dripping from every word. "All I care about is frying your worthless ass for what you did to Spock!" He added, sharply. "And, to do that, you gotta start talking."

Schooling his cocky facade back into place, Quade shrugged as he replied "What're you gonna do? Beat it outta me?!" He added, knowing that the Captain couldn't touch him if he wanted his trial to go his way. "Your little babysitter, over there, gonna give ya permission?" Quade taunted, inclining his head toward Bones standing back behind Kirk – praying to whatever deity was listening that Jim wouldn't go and do something stupid.

"I don't _have_ to beat it outta ya." Kirk taunted, grinning wickedly. "Bones, what would you say this dirtbag's chances are of getting any kind of visitation orders to see his baby after he's convicted of what he did to Commander Spock?"

Mirroring the Captain's wicked grin, Bones knew where he was going with this. "Oh, I don't think they're very good, at all." He taunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No." Jim smiled, cockily. "No, not very good at all." He added, tauntingly, as he brandished another ultrasound print, relishing the look of panic on the soon-to-be ex-Lieutenant's face. "But, now, let me ask you this, Bones … What would you say his odds are if, say … the _Captain_ … and star witness for the prosecution were to put in a good word for him with the family court judge?"

"Well, I'd have to say that would greatly increase his chances of–" Bones began, smugly, before Quade finally snapped.

"All right, fine!" Quade snapped. Despite what he'd done, he did want to see his child. " _If_ I tell you what you wanna know … I get to see my kid?"

"How 'bout this?" Jim suggested. "You tell me what I wanna know … And, I … _entertain_ the _idea_ of _potentially considering_ talking to the judge on your behalf."

 _Well … It's a start …_ Quade thought to himself after a brief internal debate. "All right…" Quade began schooling his cocky facade back into place. "All right … I'll tell you everything." The prisoner began. "I'll tell you all about how that little _slut_ was just _begging_ for it–"

" _ **LIAR**_!" Kirk roared, furiously, as he lunged toward Quade only to be physically restrained by Bones. "Let me go, Bones!" The Captain hissed. "I'm gonna **kill** the fuckin' **bastard**!" Jim hissed.

"That's _exactly_ why I _can't_ , Jim!" Bones grunted with the strain of holding back a deadly pissed off James Tiberius Kirk. "You know that!"

"He ri-iiight." Lieutenant Quade taunted in a sing-song voice. "If you 'kill the fuckin' bastard' … Your case will be laughed right out of court."

Jim Kirk hated the son of a bitch for what he'd done to Spock. But, he hated him even more for being right. "I'm all right, Bones." Sensing that the Captain _had_ , in fact, calmed down, Bones released him. However, he still kept a watchful eye fixed on him. "How did you get into Spock's quarters?" Kirk demanded, his voice a deadly calm. "And, let me remind you … You screw with me, again … Our deal is _off_."

"Very well." Quade agreed as he began to pace back and forth across the length of his cell. "Getting into Commander Spock's quarters was really a relatively simple task … For a highly trained hacker such as myself." He drawled, tauntingly. "That _is_ why I was assigned to the Enterprise … Is it not? For my skills in computer technologies?"

"Then, what?" Kirk grunted, eager to get to the point.

"Well, then, it was simple." Quade shrugged, recalling the night he'd attacked the Commander. "I lay in wait." Continuing his pacing, the Lieutenant pressed onward. "I waited in a dark corner for Commander Spock to return to his quarters." He went, reliving the night in his head, closing his eyes as he lost himself in the memory. "As soon as the Commander passed by me…" _Commander Spock had returned to his quarters after a long shift on the bridge, prepared to take a shower and climb into bed._ "…I jabbed a hypospray into his neck." _Pulling the hypospray out of his boot, the Lieutenant forcibly slammed the needle into the Commander's flesh._ "…Vecuronium … I stole it from the medbay…" He went on, pausing, before a thoughtful look graced his face. "…Speaking of which, Doctor … Do give Lieutenant Callahan my _sincerest_ apologies." He interjected, diverting his attention to Bones.

"Son of a bitch." Bones muttered under his breath as he recalled putting his medical assistant on report when he noticed the missing hypospray of Vecuronium. _Shoulda known Jo better 'an that …_ He chastised himself for incorrectly assuming that she'd been responsible for the drug going missing while making a mental note to apologize to his assistant, later, after he and Kirk had finished with this interrogation.

"Why don't you tell the good Captain why I chose that, _particular_ , drug to use on Spock, Doctor McCoy?" Quade suggested, drinking in the baffled look on the doctor's face. "Oh, you don't know?" He taunted. "Well, then, allow me to enlighten you." He pressed on. "You see, while Vecuronium can be a most effective neuro-muscular blocking drug in _humans_ … It has a nasty little defect in Vulcans." Jim had to steadfastly ignore the urge to vomit as he listened to Quade's statement of how he attacked Spock. "You see, in Vulcans, the drug loses its anesthetic qualities." The Lieutenant's voice drawled on, arrogantly. "So, while Spock was _paralyzed_ … He could still feel _everything_."

"You vicious bastard." Kirk hissed, waiting for Quade to finish.

"Hm." The Lieutenant hummed in amusement at the Captain's boiling anger. "You think me vicious for giving the little slut exactly what he wanted?"

"STOP! SAYING! THAT!" Kirk screamed, punctuating each word by slamming his open palm against the clear wall of the cell.

Bones thought he'd seen every facet of his best friend in the years that he'd known him. But, this was a first. He'd never seen such an angry and protective side of the Captain. If he were to be completely honest with himself, it scared him. If Jim stayed on this track much longer, he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to hold him back.

"I'm sorry." Quade offered by way of feigned apology. "You're right. Perhaps 'slut' is a bit harsh." He drawled on. "What would you like to know, next, Mon Capitaine … How tight the Commander was? … How he _screamed_ his release? … It must burn you to know he wanted me over y-"

Bones lunged forward as Jim roared his anger and wrapped his arms around the Captain's upper body in an attempt at physically restraining him. "Don't go there, Jim." Bones spoke into Kirk's ear. "Don't give the bastard that satisfaction."

Drawing a few deep, steadying, breaths, Jim calmed himself. He knew that Quade was baiting him and that it was working. The son of a bitch was drawing a sick sense of pleasure from riling the Captain up the way that he was. He was only giving the bastard exactly what he wanted. "You're right, Bones." He sighed, finally. "Thank you, Lieutenant." He declared, returning his focus back to Quade. "I think I have everything I came for." He added, collecting the ultrasound prints he had brought with him before beginning to take his leave.

"So, you'll talk to the judge, then?" Quade called out, hopefully.

"Nope." Kirk called over his shoulder as he continued along his path toward the exit.

"You said–" Quade began, only to be cut off when Kirk whipped around on his heel.

"I _said_ … I'd _**entertain**_ the _**idea**_ of _**potentially considering**_ talking to the judge on your behalf." Kirk corrected. "Well, guess what … I _**entertained**_ it … And, ya know … I didn't find it all that entertaining!" He spat as he whipped back around toward the exit.

"You're gonna regret this!" Quade roared as the door slid shut behind the Captain.

* * *

 **Author's Note:  
** Sorry for the wait, but, this was a longer chapter than I had originally intended. And, I'm also battling sort of infection – either the flu or strep … Not sure, yet. But, here it is. Also, I wanna warn anybody who's actually reading this, Spock's suffering is not over, yet, and will be exhibiting more out of character behavior. Please be kind if you take the time review – and _**PLEASE**_ take the time to _**REVIEW**_! I write for reviews. I can't know if this is good or not unless you leave a review! So far, I have one avid, loyal, reviewer! Can we add to that? _**PLEASE DROP ME A REVIEW!**_ Thank you.

~Skye Coulson


	4. You're Gonna Be

**Uncharted Territory**

* * *

 **Disclaimer:  
** Y'all know the drill.

 **Rating:  
** M

 **Genre:  
** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

 **Pairing:  
** Spirk

 **Lyrics Used:  
** Reba McEntire - "You're Gonna Be"  
Corbin Bleu feat. Vanessa Hudgens - "Still There For Me"  
Megan McCauley - "Reverie"

* * *

You're Gonna Be

* * *

 _I'm afraid you're gonna have to suffer through some of my mistakes | Lord knows I'll be trying, oh, to give you what it takes | What it takes to know the difference between getting by and livin'_

 _'Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way | Just know you'll have to live with all the choices that you make | So, make sure you're always givin' way more than you're takin'_

 _You're gonna fly with every dream you chase | You're gonna cry, but, know that that's okay | Sometimes, life's not fair, but, if you just hang in there_

 _You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good | We just have to believe things work out like they should | Life has no guarantees, but, always loved by me | You're gonna be_

 _Someone's everything | You're gonna see | Just what you are to me_

* * *

After finishing Quade's interrogation, Kirk made his way back to Spock's quarters to return the ultrasounds he had borrowed as well as to check on the Vulcan. Entering his Captain's override code, Kirk entered his first officer's quarters. Spotting the Vulcan sat on the edge of his bed, Kirk carefully crossed the room to join him. "I presume you spoke with Lieutenant Quade." The Vulcan spoke in a flat, dead, monotone as he recalled the man responsible to assaulting him.

"You presume correct, Spock." Jim sighed, lightly, not missing the printout that Spock had been staring at, in his hand.

"Did your plan succeed?" The Vulcan questioned, his stare remaining fixated on the photo of his unborn child in his hand. "Did the Lieutenant tell you what you wished to know?"

Sighing, once more, Kirk ran a tense hand through his hair as he spoke. "Yes and no." He offered, hoping to elicit some sort of reaction from the Vulcan only to see that his gaze was still unmoving.

"Which was it?" Spock questioned.

"Yes … I suppose." Kirk offered, lamely. "Just … I guess I just didn't care for the _way_ in which he expressed it." He elaborated, vaguely.

"And, how was that?" The first officer pressed.

Kirk considered his options for a moment before responding. He considered the consequences of each option. In the end, he decided Spock was better off not hearing about the picture that Quade painted of him. "…'s not important."

"I see." Spock hummed, still lost in his trance.

Finally deciding he could no longer stand it, Kirk decided to voice the question weighing heaviest on his mind. "Spock, are you okay?" _Brilliant, Jim!_ He chastised, himself. _The man just found out that he's pregnant with his rapist's baby! Of_ ** _course_** _he's not okay!_ The Vulcan simply remained silent as he continued staring at the picture in his hands. The captain could tell that he was struggling with something, he just wished the Vulcan would open up and tell him what it was so that he could help him. "You know … You don't … _have_ to go through with this … if you don't want–"

"How could you even speak of such a thing?!" Spock demanded, shock evident in his voice, as he leapt up off the bed. "How could you even suggest that I–" He added, as he began pacing back and forth in front of Kirk, the photos long forgotten on the bed, before the Captain cut him off.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Spock." Jim interjected, holding his hands up in mock surrender, realizing that he had misspoken and that Spock had taken him the wrong way. "I'm not suggesting abortion, here!" He elaborated. "I just meant that … You _do_ have other options." He began, carefully, mentally relieved when the Vulcan visibly calmed himself before rejoining him on the end of his bed. "You could always look into adoption, if you're not up for this."

Spock calmed himself, as he sat next to Jim at the foot of his bed – unconsciously moving closer to the Captain – as their shoulders touched. "No." He declared, softly. "No, I want this." He added, his hands coming to rest over his abdomen, once more, as he looked down to where his unborn child lay. "I want this baby, I just…" His voice trailed off, as he attempted to voice his concerns. "It is just … I do not know … I do not know how to raise a child." He admitted, quietly, hating the rising feeling of vulnerability he felt as he voiced his concern aloud.

"Oh, Spock." Kirk sighed, softly, as he carefully wrapped his arm around his first officer's shoulders while Spock unconsciously leaned into the embrace, resting his head on Jim's shoulder. "I know it's not much comfort, but … I honestly don't think that anybody really knows what they're doing when it comes to raising a kid – especially, the first time around." He offered, lamely, knowing that the words would have little effect in calming the Vulcan's worries.

"That is of little comfort to me." The Vulcan replied, voice thick with all of the fears and concerns that he'd felt since the moment he'd learned that he was with child.

"Yeah, I didn't really figure it would." Jim conceded, softly. "But, it's the truth. It's something you really only learn through on-the-job training – or, so, I'm told." He elaborated, carefully. "I guess the key is … Is knowing that you're not alone." That earned him a curious and – dare he say it – hopeful look from Spock's chocolate eyes. "You're not alone, Spock, because you're surrounded by people who care about you." The Captain pressed onward, hoping and praying to whatever deity would listen that he was getting through to his friend. "You've got me, Bones, Jolene, Uhura, Sulu, Checkov, Scotty … We're all here for you, Spock."

Spock had to admit that he did find the Captain's elaboration comforting. "I appreciate that, Captain."

"I can't speak for anybody else." Jim carried on, needing to convey to the Vulcan in his arms that he would do anything he needed for him. "But, I will, personally, be there – right here – right by your side, every step of the way." He offered. "Whatever you need – day or night; I don't care – you come to me. I'll be there, guaranteed." Jim felt relief wash over him as he felt the tension bleed out of Spock's body.

"I appreciate your support, Jim." Spock replied, shifting his position so that he could look Jim in the eye. "I cannot, adequately, convey to you how much it means to me."

"Don't mention it, Spock." Jim smiled, softly. "Come on … It's getting late." He offered, helping Spock to stand. "You should get some sleep."

Spock considered all that had happened. "Yes, perhaps, you are correct, Jim." The Vulcan conceded. However, he soon began to feel a rising sense of anxiety as he watched Jim step back, away from him – presumably to give the first officer his privacy to prepare for bed. "No, Jim!" He declared, out of the blue, as he reached for the Captain's arm.

"What is it, Spock?" Jim asked, clear-cut concern etched into his voice. "What do you need?"

"I need…" Spock began, uncertainty dripping from his voice. "Stay? … Please?" He begged, hating how pathetic and helpless he sounded.

"Of course, Spock." Jim replied, warmly, before guiding Spock around the side of the bed before gently ushering for him to sit. "Make yourself comfortable." He added, gently, before releasing Spock to move around to the other side of the bed. "I'll be here, with you, all night."

As the Captain sat next to him, Spock reached a hand out to rest his hand atop Jim's. "Thank you, Jim."

"Spock … Listen to me…" Jim began, the warmth of his care and support evident in his piercing blue orbs. "You never have to thank me. … I want to help you. … In whatever way that I can." He offered, desperately hoping to convey his support.

* * *

 _Lately, I've been thinking | About the things that we've been through | And, I don't know if I'd be here | If not for you_

 _I had to take a little time | To try to work things out | And, you should know that | I have never meant to let you down_

 _'Cause I, I | Wanna tell you that I'm sorry | And I, I | Even when I'm not giving enough | And, I'm taking too much | You're still there for me | Even when I got nothing at all | And, I'm ready to fall | You're still there for me | There for me | There for me_

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Doctor McCoy?" Lieutenant Jolene Callahan greeted, curious as to why her boss had summoned her to his office at such a late hour.

"Yes, I did, Jolene." Doctor Leonard 'Bones' McCoy replied, rising from his seat behind his desk – steadfastly ignoring the spike in his heart rate as he laid eyes upon his assistant. _Completely unprofessional, Bones!_ He mentally chastised himself, as he fought to maintain a calm, professional exterior. _Besides … She's way the hell outta your league._ "Please, have a seat." He added, gesturing toward the small sofa in his office. "I'm, uh … I'm sure you're probably wondering why I asked you, here, so late."

"The thought did cross my mind, yes." Jolene replied, ever so slightly amused, as she studied the doctor's very subtly nervous and mildly awkward behavior. Nuances so subtle that the average person would never pick up on them. However she prided herself on her ability to read body language. She had seen this behavior in her boss from the day she'd first been assigned to the USS Enterprise. She was curious as to the cause of the behavior. On one level she wondered if he had ever picked up on her feelings for him. But, he'd never said anything about them, so, it would be impossible to know for certain.

"I wanted to talk you to about the hypospray of Vecuronium that disappeared the day that Commander Spock-" Bones began, trying to formulate an appropriate apology. However, Jolene leapt to her feet – anger and frustration blatantly evident in her body language before she ever even spoke – as she cut him off.

"For the _last time_!" Jolene reiterated, frustrated that her boss was still interrogating her about the missing hypospray that she still had yet to figure out how it even went missing. The lack of answers ate her up every day after the Commander had been attacked. " _I don't_ _ **know**_ what happened – how the hypo went missing!" She declared, angrily. "I double checked the inventory – printed out the inventory logs and requisition forms – before I _locked_ the cabinet and left! I don't know how-"

"At ease, Lieutenant!" Bones finally interjected, taking pity on his clearly frustrated assistant, as he moved to stand in front her – not even realizing how his hands came to a rest on the Lieutenant's shoulders. "I know you weren't responsible for the drug going missing." He added, watching the tension visibly bleed from the Lieutenant's body. "I _should_ have known, all along and, I'm sorry." He went on, his thumbs absently rubbing her shoulders. "I wanted you to know that … And to know that I'm going to have the report stricken from your record."

Heaving a sigh of relief, Jolene replied "Thank you, Doctor." She replied, though, she suddenly felt acutely aware of the light grip on her shoulders. She knew she should have been somewhat alarmed by her boss's actions. But, somehow … she wasn't. "How did you know I didn't do it?" She wondered, curiously.

Suddenly acutely aware of his hold on his assistant, Bones awkwardly withdrew his hands. Trying to brush it off, he simply ran a nervous hand through his hair – hoping that Jolene hadn't felt any awkwardness – as he began pacing, slightly, while getting his mind back on track. "The good Captain decided to take it upon himself to go and interrogate Quade, again … Try to make him talk." He began, carefully.

"And, I'm guessing Kirk must have succeeded, this time." Jolene offered, acutely aware of the cold patches of skin where Bones's hands once lay.

"Hoh, yeah." Bones chuckled, darkly. "He did. … Bastard gave us every sickening detail." He added, mentally shuddering at the memory. "Told us how he stole the hypo to use on Spock."

"Well, I suppose that answers the question of how he managed to overpower the Commander." Jolene reasoned, fighting to keep her mind on the matter at hand.

"Yeah…" Bones replied, distractedly. "Yeah, I suppose it does."

Sensing that something was bothering the doctor, Jolene rest her hands, gently, on either side of his face – acting on pure instinct – to halt him in place. "Is something wrong, Doctor?" She asked, gently, her voice laden with concern.

* * *

 _Left, here, alone | And, unsure of what I feel | Unclear, but, I see | Just what I'm afraid of_

 _I can't find my way, anymore | And, I | Cannot heal the wounds I've created | And, I can't let go | Of what's killing me_

* * *

It took a moment for James Kirk to figure out the trembling, next to him, in the bed was responsible for waking him. Rolling over, he only had time to rest a gentle hand on Spock's shoulders before the Commander sat, bolt upright, in the bed, chest heaving with effort of catching his breath. "Spock!" Jim called out, gently. "Spock, you okay?"

"It was another nightmare." The Commander observed, absently, still struggling to return to reality. "I am sorry for waking you, Jim." He offered, apologetically.

"Hey." Jim whispered, tenderly, gently clasping Spock's still trembling hand in his own. "Hey … Don't ever apologize for that … For needing somebody. … For being human." The Captain added, gently. Wrapping the Commander up in his arms, Jim carefully lay back down in the bed before drawing Spock into his embrace – the Vulcan's head resting on his chest. Rubbing his hand up and down his dear friend's back in what he hoped was a soothing manner, Jim carded the fingers of his other hand through Spock's hair. "Just relax…" He whispered in the Vulcan's ears. "Close your eyes and try to get some sleep."

Comforted by the security he felt with his protector's embrace, Spock felt himself settling and slowly drifting back off to sleep even though something still gnawed at him from the inside. However, he could not put a finger on precisely what it was. Instead, he tried to put it out of his mind as he relaxed into Kirk's protective embrace.

When Kirk awoke, a few hours later, the sound of the shower caught his attention. Noting Spock's absence in the bed, something didn't sit right with him. On some level, he briefly wondered if he was being paranoid. But, after failing him the night that changed their lives forever, the Captain decided that would not happen, again – even if that meant being overprotective. Climbing out of bed, he quickly made his way into the bathroom. Once there, he heard something that set off even more alarm bells in his head. Scrubbing. "Spock?" He called out, carefully. No answer. Fighting against the rising sense of panic, he called out, again, as he approached the shower. "Spock, are you–" Jim's voice cut out as he slowly pulled the curtain back. The sight before him chilled him to the core. Spock stood before him, scrubbing his arms violently – whimpering slightly – as he watched the Commander's arms bleed from the scrubbing. "Spock, what's going on?"

The pain shining through the first officer's deep brown eyes cut through Kirk like a knife. But, nothing hit him harder than the broken voice the responded to him. "I cannot – It will not … I cannot get myself clean!" He whimpered, brokenly, before the dam finally broke. A heavy, violent, sob erupted from deep within his chest as he collapsed into the Captain's waiting arms.

Kirk was at a loss as he held the sobbing Vulcan in his arms. He didn't know how he'd missed the warning signs. He only knew he'd failed Spock … again. "Come on." He muttered, gently, ushering Spock back to the bedroom after shutting the shower off. "We gotta get you taken care of."

"No!" Spock declared, shakily. "No I just need to–"

"Spock, this isn't going to go away on its own." Kirk insisted, quietly. "It's okay to need help. That's why I'm here – to help you! But, I can't do that if I don't know what's going on!" There was a note of desperation to the Captain's voice that did not go unnoticed. "I can't solve a problem I don't know about."

After silently allowing Jim to help him dress, Spock finally spoke. "Okay." It was a simple word. Small. Quiet. But, it was there. And, it was enough for Jim to recognize that Spock was finally accepting the help he was offering.

* * *

 **Author's Note:  
** As always, I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I've enjoyed writing it. And, if you did … _please_ ** _please_ _PLEASE_** review!

~Skye Coulson


End file.
